World Autism Awareness Day

I wrote this a few years back, but I feel it still captures my sentiments towards Autism Awareness Day.

Today we celebrate an important day in my household, my daughter’s birthday. It is also World Autism Awareness Day or as we call it in my home, today. Allow me to ramble a little on the topic. 

I have written a great deal about RDSPs (Registered Disability Savings Plans). They are key for parents of children with Autism to help plan for their child’s future. I have also written a few snippets about the life of a Parent with a child on the Autism Spectrum. Let me touch on a few more things. I hope this helps some folks understand the challenges for parents of kids on the spectrum. My hope is to enhance your autism awareness day.

I wrote a while ago about Giving Advice to parents of kids on the spectrum. While that article was a little raw, it does sum up some of the problems parents have. I’d like to point out that it’s not just for parents of kids with Autism. Parents of kids with disabilities (visible or not) and some parents, in general, have the same issues. I try to offer advice to parents I speak with, only if asked. However, I must admit something. Sometimes I feel the need to share my “wisdom” on the subject too often. So, the finger points at me as well. All parents are trying as hard as they can, just try to support them, and you are helping.

Rhys is our last child. I think that was a good thing. We learned a great deal from our 3 daughters in terms of parenting skills. A fair amount has been transferable to Rhys. All three girls were “gifted” in different ways. We learned a lot about dealing with the educational system. There are problems getting smart kids a good education in the public system. This knowledge also came from my late Mother-in-Law. She was in charge of the Learning Disabilities Association of Halton. My parents also helped because my eldest brother has disabilities as well).

From these experiences, we talked to the local public schools. After that, we decided to take on the extra financial burden of putting Rhys in a private school. Rhys is unique because he is very high functioning. He doesn’t really fit into the “Classic” autism programs, nor does he fit into the regular school programs. I wrote about getting Rhys’ school fees as a medical expense, so we get a little help, but Mrs. C8j went back to work mostly to help out in this area as well (no one is complaining here, just explaining).

Remember that marriages with children on the spectrum have a higher risk of divorce. I suspect this is also true for parents of kids with all disabilities. There is stress in all relationships at times, but I think Mrs. C8j and I are doing fine in that aspect (another fun fact for Autism Awareness Day).

Do I want my son “cured”? I am really not sure what “cured” would mean? He is an amazingly complex boy, with an ability to surprise you constantly, what am I curing him of?

• Do I wish he could deal with social interactions better? Yes, but I was an incredibly awkward kid socially, it is just that I was ludicrously extroverted (and obnoxious). Rhys is learning slowly about social interactions, I don’t know where this will lead.
• Would I love to see him be able to go to “regular” school? Maybe, I don’t really know. “Regular” school never did me any big favors. I only started to realize my own gifts when I went to University. He will be going to College soon, which is amazing.
• Is the world a better place with my son in it? Absolutely, Yes

So why would I want him “cured”? Please remember we are lucky that Rhys is high functioning. He talks and walks. If you saw him, you really wouldn’t notice anything. He looks like a very tall adult. I have friends and have met folks who have children with Severe Autism. Most would give anything to have a child-like Rhys. Their definition of “cured” is different from mine.

My Conclusions

In my life, I have been blessed with many things. My biggest blessing is my children. My wife, family, and friends are also great blessings.